Dearly Beloved,

I write to bring your attention to the story of two brothers in Luke 15. Fortunately, you are familiar with the gist – the younger asks for his share of the inheritance, gets it, squanders it, returns to his senses and asks the father for forgiveness. The father forgives him and throws a party in his honour. The end. 

Ehh, well, not so fast. 

There’s another player in this story – the older brother, who is completely embittered upon his brother’s return. In fact, he refuses to join the party and accuses his father of being stingy, inconsiderate and ungenerous. In his own words: 

‘Look! All these years, I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes, comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’ – Luke 15:28-30 (NIV).

If the older brother is right, what kind of response might we expect from the father? 

Perhaps something like this:

“You insolent, ungrateful child. Is that how you speak to me after all these years? Let me be clear, your labour doesn’t buy my favour! This house, fields, wealth and that goat are all mine, and I decide how it’s spent, who gets honoured, and who gets left outside. Don’t come to me grumbling because your loyalty didn’t come with applause. If you cannot join the feast, then stay out. I won’t have rebellion dressed in righteousness.”

How apt, very African parent style – energy for energy, isn’t it? But the Father is nothing like this. Here’s how He responds:

“My son, the father said, you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.” 

– Luke 15:31-32 (NIV).

My SON. The father reminds him of who he is. He is not a slave at all. The younger brother returned home because he realised his identity, while the older brother acted out because he forgot his identity. 

I draw your attention to this, for we tend to behave similarly. In moments of temptation, what we must watch for is not what we seek to gain but what we stand to lose. We deviate from the path of righteousness whenever we misunderstand or forget our identity. For the older brother, this situation revealed that he was not strong in his identity as a son. It also showed that he did not KNOW the father. The description of his experience in the father’s house was not in keeping with a son-to-father relationship.

“All these years, I’ve been serving-slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends.”

Unfortunately, this is how many of us describe our relationship with the Father – all we have done is SERVE wholeheartedly, and (because the Father didn’t do what we wanted) all He has done is NOTHING. Notice I didn’t say the Father didn’t do anything, I said all he has done for us becomes nothing – simply because it wasn’t what we wanted Him to do. This blurred lens happens when we lose sight of our “relationship” with the father. 

You see, the older brother lost sight of his familial relationship with the Father and brother. He said – this son of yours, rather than “this brother of mine”. He had completely cut off his brother and had begun living with the mindset of a slave in his father’s house. It had become transactional. Soon enough, he no longer knew the father as HIS father, but began to see him as a slave master. This is why he reacted the way he did about the fattened calf and the party. Instead of delight and rejoicing, the Father’s actions were met with malice and offence.

He wanted a goat to show off to his friends – he wanted bragging rights. Many of us are like this –  we want to “pepper” them. If the only reason we want the father’s gifts is to cause envy in the hearts of others, then we can say goodbye to those gifts altogether because they will never come. 

Christianity emphasises righteousness, not rights. It emphasises honour, not equality. A Christian’s concern is what is owed to the other, not what is owed to himself.

– Elizabeth Elliot. 

When we focus only on what we can gain, we are blind to the burdens of the father. The father had the burden of reconciliation, but the brother could not see beyond the loss of the fattened calf. Is the life of your brother not worth more than this fattened calf? You can invite your friends to the party, and fatten another calf, but you can’t manufacture another brother. Even if you don’t like your brother, at least now that he’s back, a burden on the father’s heart has been lifted, and that should be worth rejoicing over. 

The one who truly knows the Father delights in the things the Father delights in. Whatever brings the father joy should bring his children joy. This is why the Father pleaded with Him to join the festivities; He wants the older brother to also find joy in this moment. What we must watch for in moments of temptation is not what we seek to gain but what we stand to lose. What a beautiful heart the father has for both his sons.

Do you know the father? Do you delight in the things he delights in?

Joy is meant to be shared. Joy doesn’t exist only when it stems from you. May you never refuse to enter into seasons of rejoicing because the rejoicing is not about you. The Father invites you to share in His joy. May the sound of your team’s victory never sound agonising to your ears because you didn’t win MVP.  

“you are always with me, and everything I have is yours”

The father’s response is a show of his generosity. As we see in Matthew 20:1-16, the one born again 30 years ago and the one born again today are JOINT heirs with Christ. Although time served on the field doesn’t qualify you for greater benefits than those just coming in, that is no reason to despise your service.  

The older brother saw his service as slavery, without realising that service is what ensured that he was always with the Father. Service keeps us from becoming prodigal, pursuing wild living and facing all the hardships that the younger brother experienced. Don’t consider your service as slavery, else you will build resentment towards the father in your heart and despise your siblings. Let there be joy in your service. 

… yet you never gave me 

Service is not a bargaining chip to receive things from the father. Neither must the Father consult with us to decide how to handle our siblings in Christ, even if we are the offended party! Who did Jesus consult before making Paul an Apostle? If Jesus was still on earth at the time, perhaps Apostle Peter would have called him to the side and given him a stern rebuke, “look, this man you’re bringing on as a disciple, he’s a murderer, he will corrupt the rest and surely betray us!” but Jesus didn’t ask Peter or any other person for permission and none of them could be offended by it.

The father gives by his wisdom what each son needs. The younger brother needed a welcome-home celebration, so the father threw the biggest party ever. The older brother needed to rejoice that his brother’s return meant he gained a fellow labourer in the field, so the father pleaded that he come in and be reconciled to his brother. The father knows best what each child needs, and we must respect his actions and trust his decisions at all times.

Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere; I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of the wicked. – Psalm 84:10 (NIV)

Remember, for as long as you are in his house, all that the Father has is yours and will always be yours. Remain in joyful service.

May grace and peace be multiplied unto you. 

SELAH